would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
