Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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(626): View more from California

Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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(301): View more from Maryland

dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist

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(207): View more from Maine

Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.

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(269): View more from Michigan

the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.

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