i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
