he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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