those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
