Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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