I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
3 2 1 whiskey
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
