I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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