Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
did you just send me my own nude
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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