i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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