New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
