Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
