We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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