How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
