She's JV to your varsity
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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