I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Mom said you looked used
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
