I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
