Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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