the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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