just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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