bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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