the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
