need another drink. this is the easiest way
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
