would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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