he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
