Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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