think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
