Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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