we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
