I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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