In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
