Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
