one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
