Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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