when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
