If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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