He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
