Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
