After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
