Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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