Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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