If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
