remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
