We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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