Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
