I just cut my nipple shaving
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
