The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
nutella sex= disaster
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
