what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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