so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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