Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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